Pissed

Today I'm feeling upset... Moody... I dunno maybe due to pms that always make my emotion overwhelming.... I took public for sometimes when I got ample of time in my hand.. I was in the bus going back when my emotion started to upset me. Suddenly I can feel that tears hanging around my eyes and my nose feeling the dampness inside. Everyone has some problem be it family, financial, social and it is all personal. But mine is about family. Everyone has some family problems, u know when u always make mistakes when u were young and naive until that ur family can't trust u anymore. Thats sucks. But for me, I haven't make a mistake and they already don't want to believe me, how suck was that? Tell me.

I was brought up from a good family. My parents sent me to full time religious school but end up I'm not that religious. Ever since I joined ITE my life changed. I'm not blaming the school or my friends from ITE. I should blame myself for being so curious about life. U guys should understand, madrasah girl so curious, needs to try something new to learn about life. But she knows her limits. I, sometimes can be very rebellious when I can't get my way. I know myself, I know my limits. Sometimes, I hate my life. I hate what had happened to me last time, I hate that I can't changed my past. I hate everything. I hate every single thing that I have become til I thought of suicide in its own creative ways. And I can't believe I'm blogging about it. Its a healthy thing to vomit out what u're feeling inside. And its not stupid! My blog is not stupid! I'm not a coward just because I blog! Bloggers are not a coward person, we are just a quiet person who thinks nobody can sit down and listen to us patiently and with mouth zipped! And I can be a better person in the future... And I hate myself but I hate YOU more!