Drug

I am supposed to head to bed now but I'm not sleepy, maybe the grande size caramel macchiato is taking control of my brain to stay awake. I went to SB-TH coz I miss them loads. Last Friday of the month, 50% off for TTSH staffs. Then headed to Arab St for sheesha with Netty Love.

And I'm missing pretty boy running towards me after I parked my bike.. I miss him so much that my heart beats faster than ever... Euphoria. So intense that I feel that I'm floating while walking.. Yearning to hear his soothing voice saying "I love you"s. His touch, his warmth and his love are making me a happier person in this world. He's my everything that I have ever want... Let's talk about love...

My morning was super nice... No patients who boiled my blood, no standby case, alot of cannulations and venepunctures but I was so sleepy, I slept at 1 plus... And I was back to my active self after I got a kinky msg from someone I love... "Morning my love. I'd like to have you on my breakfast table please". Enough dosage to perk me up.

Love, love, and more love..... Love is in the air.....

Good muslimah, as a start.

Ok, so random of me now to talk sense into my life... I don't know what got into me that I have started to memorize and refresh my prayer's doa.... As a muslim, we should pray 5 times a day and as for me, I have my lazy moment after when Syaitan has persuaded me not to pray.. I should know the doa at the back of my head but as time goes by, I tend to forgot some words or a letter in the prayers. Now, I'm holding this prayer book, memorizing and reciting it again and again as if I am going to sit for an exam.... Well, it is a good thing for me, as a muslim... I want to be better. And soon, after I'm done, I want to memorize the surah from Al-Quran as what I had been doing in my Madrasah moments....

This entry specially for Sasha...

This entry I'm going to blog is so brilliant after Sasha left a msg in my tagboard about dresses... I do have some dresses, not that a lot la actually and I don't wear it often coz I'm a tee n jeans n sneaker girl. And if I wear a dress, some of my accessories won't click and I will get some notes for that from "Mr Style"... :) And this entry is for SASHA LOVE....! Enjoy making ur eyes green or red or whatever... Haaaa...

Dorothy Perkins dress...

Cotton on...

Another Dorothy Perkins...

Flash and Splash, Ripcurl....

Ok, so random.... A hot pink cute shades.. Yeah... :D

So, how Sasha? :D

Photo taking day

And finally! Matin is back in Singapore.... I miss him soo much! And he gave me a hot pink shades... (PINK?) Hahaha..... So not me but he wants me to try... Ok ok... I will.... And so long awaited, I finally get to compile most of my pics and Matin's during our photo taking day to Kranji on 2nd of July... :) Lots of mosquito bites but it didn't matter..

Try to imagine riding Madass with a dress.... Angin banyak masuk ah...! Cool.... :D

Baby come home...

First of all, I'm bored... I'm missing Matin. He is at Penang now with his friends since Friday. But he will be back tomorrow and told me that he will meet me after work. I can't wait to be in his embrace, to feel his heart beats, to hear his soothing voice and to hold his hands together in mine.

And secondly, I don't feel like a Sunday mood today coz I feel sucks. How I wish that I could have every weekends off. Work has been conquering my freedom and sometimes I don't even realized which day is today. But I'm glad that today Sunday I was doing morning shift. Met my long lost Starbucks best friend at Northpoint and bought some cocoa butter scrub and waxing strips. I got time to wax my armpits multiple times today coz Body Shop's waxing strips are expensive and not that effective. And in the end, I have to pluck it myself!

Haiz... There is no nice show to watch on TV so I ate a couple of spoonful of Ben and Jerry's ice cream but I felt more depressed and listened to Katy Perry's "Thinking of You" again and again... And I can't stop farting and scratching my armpits...

My face is feeling very oily, my makeup is still on and I'm waiting for Harper's Island final episode. My handphone is still silent... Baby please come back now.... Seventeen mag is my best friend now....

I'm so bored, still, how about you?

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

Katy Perry "Thinking of You"

Beautiful night = Heavy night

I was shocked, why did it occurred to me to ask a question that would hurt me like shit. I feel shit, right now. My vision is blurred by the past. I'm feeling dizzy. I need to let it out but somehow I can't. I have swallowed my feelings... My feelings are my meals.... Breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper. I will cry to sleep hoping tomorrow will be a better day... Prove me that it is over.... Coz these things will haunt me, forever, till I leave this cruel world.... I won't forget.

Now I have to tell myself that I have to be smart.

"Fana, wake up and smell the coffee. Think out of the box. Stop being such a blur queen. Stop being too simple. You are such a dumb bimbo".

OK, I'm back to my feet. Sorta.

I need my sleep. Full of feelings in my stomach. Hope it will pass, sooner or later.

Rain rain...

Sunday suppose to be quiet and less patients but thanks to the whole day of raining period, business was good! And I was going here and there working my ass off and having numbness on my feet. And I was thinking how am I going home with this rain from the sky? My bike is having problem, clutch loose and I can't even find the biting point.

Let me tell u a story about just now. It was drizzling when I wanted to go home and my seat was wet and I don't have any cloth to wipe it so I took a cloth from someone's bike but I put it back after that. So when I realized the clutch was giving way, I was stuck. A few minutes later a couple was walking to a bike which I took the cloth from. And I asked help from them. :D How ironic! Hehe... And I noticed that I didn't put the cloth back nicely, it was slightly hanging!

Then I met Pretty Boy for supper. My night was great. Double cheeseburger, hot chocolate and him really made my night a warm and satisfying one. I want to have another beating, please..

Learn something new.

Ever think that when you were with someone and you thought that you knew that person after been so long together? Yes, of course. Well I guess it is natural to have that thought but we will always have to think out of the box. Doesn't mean you are with your love one for so long, you think you know them.. People might change, be it good or not so good. And it takes time to understand that kind of people. Some of them are haunted by their past who really can't get over it or maybe slower to move on. I have friends who are like this but the good part, they made me as a listening ear for them. They have to talk about it to let it go. They talk, I will listen, I talk and they listen.... Communications are good for your mind, body and soul... If there are people who don't open up, don't force them to talk, they are just taking their time to move on... And I saw Matin's vulnerable side and it made me write into this blog about feelings. I guess we are all vulnerable. People who are very fierce and who likes to bully or pick on other people are the most vulnerable human beings in this ever changing world..

And I realized that the more time I spend with Matin, the more we communicate about stuffs and I'm beginning to learn about him. All over again, or at least not all over..

And I just came back from picture taking with Matin at Kranji railway track. But it started to rain when reached at the park. But we are still happy to spend time together... Priceless...